U.N. Diplomats Start Looting Spree

or most Americans, food riots are something seen only on televison news reports from a remote Third World country. But thanks to the Third Worlders working at the UN, New Yorkers last month got to see a food riot close up in their own home town.

Time magazine reported that after food service workers at the aspiring global government's headquarters walked off their jobs in a wildcat strike, high-ranking diplomats and their staffs went on a looting spree in the U.N.'s five restaurants and bars. The looters stole not just the food, but anything that wasn't nailed down, including the silverware.

"The food workers staged a one-day show of muscle after they learned that they would not be reimbursed for vacation pay due to a contract shift that took place in March," Time reported. So during the height of a Friday lunch hour, food workers walked out.

"After that, what ensued was nothing short of Baghdad-style chaos," the magazine said.

As tensions grew, an unnamed "high-ranking U.N. official boldly ordered that all the cafeterias open their doors for business even without staff," said Time.

News of the decision to make the cafeterias into "no-pay zones" spread like wildfire through the United Nations' luxurious 40-acre complex as hundreds of hungry and gleeful diplomats and aids tore through the restaurants like Rodney King fans disappointed by a trial.

"It was chaos, wild, something out of a war scene," said one executive of the U.N.'s food service contractor. A witness from U.N. security told Time that the raid on the cafeterias was "unbelievable, crowds of people just taking everything in sight; they stripped the place bare."

The U.N. mob of diplomats also looted the Viennese Café, a popular snack bar. "The takers included some well-known diplomats who finished off the raid with free drinks at the lounge for delegates. When asked how much liquor was lifted from the U.N. bar, one U.S. diplomat responded, 'I stopped counting the bottles.'"

To protect the Third World looters and their countries from embarrassment, Time did not identify any of the lawbreakers in its report. Like other corporate U.S. media outlets, Time supports the U.N. and its global governance aspirations.

The amount of food stolen from the main staff restaurant was valued at $9,000, not including the value of silverware or liquor or dishes, or the food stolen from the Viennese Café or the Delegate's Bar.